Sunday, May 10, 2009

Ryan B is the way to B.

It's 3 am. I can't sleep. All I hear is the hum of Arrested Development coming from the other room because the dumbass that built this home made the weirdest room ever with two doorways, and only one door, with a closet the size of all the other bedrooms combined. It smells like old people. 

I'm writing this so Ryan can have one last hoo-rah reading my blog before he scoots on off to Madagascar. Are there even people there? I'm going to miss that Cobra.

So it's finally summer. Thank heavens. But now I realize how bored I am, and how much I need to get crackin' on those hobbies! Last summer was the greatest. I made new friends. We lit roman candles out the windows of my car which resulted in me putting out a small fire that started on Ryan's chest, we stayed out late, had fake acid trips, took real life spontaneous road trips, hobo camped in Austin's field, ate peaches in gigantic storage rooms, captured flags, waited for free doughnuts, and had FP on a regular basis back when my boss didn't give a crap. What happened? People move out. Bitches move in. Jesus calls people places and we all actually have to work. 

Being a grown up isn't that great. But being the friend of a cobra is fun. Even if we can never have that summer ever again, we can take something from it. 
1. Don't leave the bag of unlit fireworks by your feet when driving around and lighting fireworks that tend to backfire.
2. Don't go to the Mapleton gas stations past dark because cops won't believe that you are 18.
3. Always be someone's bitch.
4. Find something to do besides loiter.
5. Loiter often.

Seacrest out.

3 comments:

  1. Now you're alone in the apartment, right? I can't often sleep as well, but I've no noises. Nothing, absolute silence only! Your recommendations in the end are amusing. Thankee!

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  2. this post brought me a centimeter from tears.

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